Playlist & Bingo: Hurt

It’s been seven years, big brother, and I’m still here. You wouldn’t know me to see me, and not for the obvious reason. Everything has changed.

We tried so hard, but they took us one by one. It seemed like such a simple thing at the time. Get the tech, get your research, get revenge, then… get on with life? I never planned that far, not really. Maybe I expected to get caught. But here I am, and everyone else is gone.

They’re looking for your files again. They won’t find them, of course, not without my help. They’ve got one of the few people I have left doing the search. They’re not exactly patient, or at all, not tolerant of failure.

I don’t know what to do, and I’m so tired. It hurts everyday and it might be getting worse. That or the drugs aren’t working anymore. No one else is out there looking for a way to manage it. I think I’m the only one left.

Pain tells me I’m alive. It also akes it hard to want to stay that way. But I can’t follow you this time, big brother. I like to think you wouldn’t want me to. But I can’t keep doing this alone, and that means letting go.

I’m going to give everything to Liev and Tomas. Lay it out, at their feet, and see what they do with the mess that’s my truth. Your research might go back, but I have to believe it won’t. I have to risk that it will.

They’re all I have, big brother. I can’t lose my whole world again. I’m so close to breaking and third time’s the charm, after all.

Please forgive me.



by | May 30, 2013